What Happens When You Publicly Shame ChildrenNovember 3, 2020
When it comes to disciplining your child. do you consider public shaming acceptable or not? The truth is that finding ways to scold your child in public might actually do more harm than good. The better way to talk to your child about issues and concerns is to talk to them in private about their actions and choices.
Being a parent is tough. There are times when patience is running thin, time is running short, and sometimes the kids just won’t listen. But when you start to feel all those emotions mount, it’s important to realize that public shaming your child will never end up working out well.
Yelling or scolding at your child in public can have an effect on them that can have them cowering in fear. It can also have long term effects that will make them nervous or scared to get in trouble in front of others, too.
When it comes to public shaming, there are certain aspects to think about before moving forward with this parenting choice.
What does humiliation do to a child?
When you’re public shaming a child, you’re basically humiliating them to the point that they’re going to act correct and stop stepping out of line. In return, this type of activity in the brain of a child can cause them to feel aggression, have anxiety, or even start down the path towards depression.
What are the effects of public shaming?
While the effects are going to vary depending on the child, most of them are going to be negative in nature. When children are shamed publicly at a young age, this can cause long term devastating results that can affect them their entire lives.
There is always that moment in time that we’ve all felt embarrassed or been embarrassed by someone that we never forget…and when you take this on the school of punishing a child with public shaming, those events are something that they’ll never remove from their minds, either.
What is an example of shaming?
If you’re worried that you have public shamed your child and didn’t realize it, there are certain things to keep in mind. There are many different forms of public shaming. When you’re yelling loudly and drawing attention to your child, you’re public shaming.
When you’re making them feel silly for an answer or something that they did in front of others, you’re public shaming.
Public shaming doesn’t have to be done around a large group of people to be considered “public”. It’s basically any time of scolding action that is done in front of anyone that isn’t you or your child.
At what age can a child feel ashamed?
Sometimes, it might feel as though your child continues to act out in public without any remorse and you’re not understanding why. Keep in mind that kids often act out because they’re needing something else. If your child is young, acting out in a negative manner might be the only way they know to get any attention.
By the time a child is three years old, they should start to feel shame or guilt. During this time, it’s important to be certain to help them work through these feelings through strong communication and support. Public shaming at a young age, while they’re still trying to understand their own emotions, can be a very volatile time for their mental health.
Why public shaming causes more harm than helps the child
Children’s brains are growing quite rapidly when they’re young and are often very impressionable as well. While they might have a bit of sass in them and mischief, understand that they’re doing the best that they can as their minds continue to grow.
Public shaming them for choices and decisions might actually have a negative effect on how their emotions grow and develop. While they are young and impressionable, work on their communication skills, and talk to them about how they’re acting.
They may not even realize what they’ve done wrong and what they need to correct. Once you take the time to talk to your child about their actions, give them time to process through those thoughts and emotion and see how you can help further.
And remember – little people have big emotions. It’s up to us as parents to help them work through those thoughts and emotions and figure out how to move forward in a positive manner.
And one other helpful help? If you don’t like to be embarrassed or ashamed in public, what makes you think that your child would like it either. Remember the golden rule of treating others how you’d like to be treated and work together to find a positive way to communicate, even when times are tough.
How would you suggest handling a child who is acting out in public other than public shaming?